Harper rallies are extremely easy to get into, that is, if you follow a simple set of rules. It’s sort of like trying to get into a nightclub: you need to wear the right things, say the right things, and you definitely need to make sure you don’t have anything murky in your past. We at SDP have put together a simple list of requirements for entry into Club Harper:
Harper enjoying a beer at Club Harper.
- Show up alone! Friendships are for socialists.
- Quebec ID? GTFO!
- No Ed Hardy.
- Frosted Tips? I think you want the Green party rally down the street.
- No red ties, shirts, pants, jackets. Please just don’t wear red.
- If you’re an environmentalist you must consent to a full body cavity search, hippy.
- Don’t come with any questions unless they’ve been vetted by one of our staff… only the first four will be accepted.
- No jerseys or long necklaces.
- Thursdays are Criminal Record Holder Night™: VIP Line for our friends… Mega jails for everybody else.
- Long Guns welcome.
- No gays.
- One week before the event your Facebook profile will be vetted for any ties to the CPC enemies list. Prepare ahead.
- Dress code: sweater vests only.
- Be able to produce ID, no one under 35 allowed.
Remember if you bring your bible you’ll get no line no cover and be entered for a $100 bar tab*. Just remember that if you want to head to a rally before May 2nd we have everything you need to know right here. The bar is running a big deficit so make sure you hurry down before the bank calls in our loan.
Sustained Downpour 